heaven

The Bilinda Butchers "Heaven" is a soundtrack set to the diary by Nakajima Ume, a young woman who lived in Japan from 1836 to 1864. The diary's entries catalog her catastrophic marriage to a cruel nobleman, and her later introduction to a young, idealistic poet whose expressions of sympathy inspire her to escape from her unfortunate circumstances.

When her friendship with the poet is discovered, Ume is sent away to a distant village, where she falls into a deep depression and eventually learns of the poet’s death. Though the news of the poet’s death initially disturbs Ume, she soon discovers within herself a new sense of clarity and motivation. Her diary ends with a final pronouncement: she will drown herself in order to reunite with her fallen lover. 

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01. Ume 
listen  

あなたを愛しております 
生涯かけて、 
あなた様だけを愛しております 
今、あなたのもとへ参ります 

Baby when I dream of you 
Kiss my cheeks like you used to 
Because everything I do, do 
I do it for you, you 

And ever since you went away 
I cry so hard, I hope and I pray 
That you'll come back to me 

Just for one more day 

Baby when I dream of you 
Kiss my cheeks like you used to 
Because everything I do, do 
I do it for you, you 

I will see you beneath the falls 
二人がもう一度契る場所

02. Less Than
listen    

Looking for reasons to call you  
I just want to hear you say 
That you're okay, yeah, you're okay 
At least a couple times a day 

Still feel sick before I see you 
Even though it’s been a while 
But when you open the door and you look at me 
It fades away and I can smile 

How can you ever feel sorry? 
(How can you ever feel?) 
How can you ever love me? 
(How can you ever love?) 
How can you ever feel less than what you should be? 
Less than what you should be 

And did you think I was pretending 
When I said you were divine? 
I'm full of worthless thoughts but even so 
To you I'd never lie 
So when you want to tell me secrets  
With tears in your lovely eyes 
I'll try to comfort you make you feel okay 
But on the inside I could die 

How can you ever feel sorry? 
(How can you ever feel?) 
How can you ever love me? 
(How can you ever love?) 
How can you ever feel less than what you should be? 
Less than what you should be

03. Old Style Amami
listen    

In this small garden 
The wind whispers sweetly 
Humming softly with the sound of insects 
How fondly I shall look 
On the person who will come today

04. Shadow Beat 
listen    

So youth's the time to be lighthearted  
Look up at me and don't be startled  
By what you see 
I spent some time feeling so lonely  
I was sure that was the only 
Way I could feel  

But now you're here and I am finding  
Little things have me smiling  
When I'm with you 

I won't say it's easy to be  
The kind of boy I think you need 
Life is shorter than you think 
So I hope you'll spend some time with me  

That you chose me was a surprise  
But either way it feels nice 
To hold your hand  
I won't believe every word you say  
But I’ll listen close in my own way 
Just for you  

I'm older now than I was those days 
The past like a shadow slips away 
But Iwont
forget  

I won't say it's easy to be  
The kind of boy I think you need 
Life is shorter than you think 
So I hope you'll spend some time with me

05. Golden House ft. Sarah Psalti
listen    

And now that it's over I can feel free 
To say all the things that you have done to me 
Because I have a boy who loves to sing me songs 
With tender
heart I know that I've been all along  

White flowers wilt when I would see his face  
Abandoned dreams of love to find their place  
With every bruise endured I would think of you  

And I know I can't break down  
I can't break down  
To build, to build, to build 
To build this Golden House  

pray, I pray, I pray to Heaven  
Come back, to me, my tears are hidden  
To build, to build 
To build this Golden House  

And I know I can't break down  
I can't break down 

06. New Style Akashi
listen    

In my endless grieving  
When I am pulled to the bottom of the rivers waters 
How sad I shall still wander 
Even then not knowing our fate 

07. The Lover's Suicide
listen   

With graying clouds watching over me  
Oh, I cannot, I cannot breathe  
Your pale face behind bars, my heart sinks  
Sold to this house for the use of men  
Oh, your young heart, I wish I could mend  
But instead, I'll pretend, I'll pretend  

So close your eyes, close your eyes  
'Cause in our dreams, in our dreams  
In our dreams  
Lovers' suicide  

With last
sen in pocket I turn to you  
A painted rain dragon, the scent of bamboo  
Sake drips from your lips when you say,  
When you say our love is true  
So where do we go? Where do we go?  
Like a flower, I can't bloom in the snow  
We can't hide, we can't grow  

So close your eyes, close your eyes  
'Cause in our dreams, in our dreams  
In our dreams

08. Tanka ft. Lamp
listen    

Cold like snow, dying eyes 
Laying beside you one last time 
I turn to the north and close my eyes 
Praying for rain  
And all along I knew one day that you would leave 
And now the final night in front of me 
So speak no words to me tonight 
Leave no trace behind  

‘Cause I can't be the one to watch you  
‘Cause if you go I'll follow you  

And every single dawn that passes I pray for your return  
Thirteen months have taken you this golden house won't burn 
And if I could believe that you would return to me 
Let's celebrate this house of gold that will not fall from rain 
And when the winter passes I will count the months again 
Because when they say you're gone 
The rain and I are one 

‘Cause I can't be the one to watch you 
‘Cause if you die I'll follow you  

I feel safe with you 
Feel safe

09. Edo Method 
listen    

If I'm held in your heart  
You can cry on my arm  
If you did all you said 
I'll forget that you
lied, what you did 

All this time out at war 
Made us strong, made us poor 
But I've gained many things 
Clarity, who it brings 

On this bed, where I lie 
Death’s eyes comfort me  
Your letters, I sent back  
Now it’s your face that I see 

I love you more than I ever did 
Clarity is my oldest friend  
All the way in the countryside  
Wondered a million things 
Like how I could ever love again 
But now you'd die with me gracefully 
All this time I was looking for  
What was right in front of me 

All the way downtown even if they took it from us 
By your side, I'll be, when Edo fades away 

10. The River Sumida
listen    

And when they find me 
I'll be under  
Four tons of water 
Soaked down to my bones  

For love 
For love 
For love 
For love 

And when they tell her 
Will her face change? 
From that of a woman  
To the girl I knew 

For love  
For love 
For love 
For love

11. Golden House 2
listen    

I know!  もうすぐ、 
この水が私をあなたのもとへ運んでくださる

12. Heaven holds a place 
      ft. Harriet Brown

listen    

Heaven holds a place for us 
Hold on until I turn to dust  
Now I know I’m not afraid  
To learn the truth about your fate 
I was running through that old green path 
Now I know that you're not coming back 
I remember when they told me you were gone  
With tears in my eyes, I move on  

‘Cause when I was alone, I would pretend you were home 
Honey, I can feel the moon 
And with tears in my eyes  

I won't cry when I die  
(I won't cry when I die) 
I won't cry when I die  
(I won't cry when I die) 

Now, Heaven holds a place for me  
Soon I'll kiss your lips baby  
And now I know I’m not afraid  
To know my suicide is fate  
A letter for the world I leave  
A dagger for the one I grieve  
And now I know I'm not afraid  
To know my suicide is 

Cause' when I was alone 
I would pretend you were home 
Honey, I can feel the moon 
And with tears in my eyes  

I won't cry when I die  
(I won't cry when I die) 
I won't cry when I die  
(I won't cry when I die)

13. Heaven
listen    

It has become clear why I've spent so many mornings for you to come back. 
When the seasons changed, I looked to the north for you arrival.  
Eventually, I began to feel at ease just waiting and watching. 
Dreaming of seeing your smiling face as you crossed the stream to make your way to hold me once more. 
And when you never came, it became clear what I have spent all my days waiting for. 
My loyalty and faith brought you back to me. 
I’m closer to you. 

あなたを愛しております 
生涯かけて、  
あなた様だけを愛しております 
今、あなたのもとへ参ります

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